does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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