Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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