New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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