both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
