Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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