I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
