Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
