You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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