my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Randomize
