Pregnant stripper...not hot.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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