I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
