Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
