Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
The best revenge is premature balding
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
