I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
My dick has a subreddit
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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