"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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