She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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