i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
