when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
