similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
