I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
