just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
