I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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