Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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