I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
