I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
