At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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