and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
