So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
