For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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