I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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