he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Bring me that man meat
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
