Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
