Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
