i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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