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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
