My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
