oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I have tasted many bathrooms
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
