that's an acceptable place to lick
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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