I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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