We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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