just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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