actually, I'm a sock model
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
