how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
