I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
