If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
