I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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