i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Randomize
