It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
