that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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