no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
