he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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