i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
