she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
This baby is an asshole
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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